- Indians celebrate two navratras and Durga Pujas. Do we really need an extra mother’s day? Even symbolically, I feel more connected and more child – like to the divinity that a lot of us Hindus call ‘Maa’. We have The Yashoda Ma, The Sita Mata, Mother Mary, Mata Parvati, Maa Saraswati. But we also have Maa Lakshmi, who does not have a mythological son. What does that indicate?
If not symbolically, what exactly is it that we do to feel entitled to celebrating Mother’s day? We’re socio-culturally messed up as a nation! I wonder if we even deserve to have mothers and if we do, then have we earned the right to call them parents. For those of us who ARE mothers ourselves, are we the mothers that deserve being called mothers?
Even beyond all this, I personally feel that as a community, a nation, a people, a society, we’ve lost the right to celebrate mothers and motherhood, here’s why:
- We do NOT WANT or DESERVE mothers to begin with.
With female foeticide and infanticide rates still on a high, do we really want mothers in our society? I mean keep killing potential mothers even before they are born, and then go around selling to me the concept of ‘Happy Mother’s Day’! And don’t even get me started about mothers who abort their own girl children! Hypocrisy much???
- We do not want to talk about how girls actually become mothers.
We do not talk about sex, periods, menstrual cycles and pregnancy. We do not prepare our girls to be mothers. We believe in – ‘bachchha to time aane pe ho hi jayega’! With that sort of hypocrisy, a lot of women are not even prepared to be mothers. Forgive me, but no matter how happy motherhood maybe, unplanned, really?
- We HAVE FAILED our mothers by our inability to provide proper maternal health.
Oh, I wish I didn’t have to mention this one! There may be costly nursing homes, doctors, experts on prenatal, neonatal and postnatal care, but what percentage of women actually have an access to the maternal care before, during and after their pregnancy? Read a report here1 But so what? We’re better than Pakistan! Yo baby!!!
If businesses had SOME shame, their products would be around cheaper sanitary napkins, easy access to medical facilities, provision of transportation in rural areas for pregnant women (do you hear the Ola and the Ubers of the world?) I don’t think so. We claim we respect mothers? Like, really?
- We discriminate against our mothers!
Oh yes! We do that all the time! I’ve seen caregiver discrimination of this form for so long. We want women to be machines producing babies, taking care of them AND performing the best at work. Yet, we continue to be prejudiced against working mothers.
- Most heinously? We discriminate among our mothers!
Single / Unmarried mother ? – Saali Besharam! (oh and do grind your teeth and grunt a bit when using this language)
A working mother ? Kya ghar ka dhyaan rakhti hogi yaar!
A woman who doesn’t want to be a mother – irresponsible, selfish bitch!
I mean wow! Perhaps I’m pessimistic. I have loads of happy friends, happy to be mothers! All power to you ladies! However, a batch of 100 women I know isn’t sufficient percentage for me to celebrate mother’s day !
I told you I will return to my family banter again at the beginning of the post. Here’s what happened…
Me: Dad, is it not hypocrisy to be celebrating mothers’ day when we as a society are so messed up.
Dad (sigh): Unfortunately, yes it is.
Me : I am sorry mom, I took so much time to actually realize your value in my life. Now that I do, will you be happy if I still did not wish you a ‘Happy Mother’s Day!”
Mom (with a smile) : I’ll be happier if you wish me after earning that right like you say. Go change the world, talk, write, do something. Do your bit and then come and wish me, I’ll be happy!
With this thought, on this day – A Very Happy Mother’s Day to All the Struggling Mothers out there! May you shine and May you help your sisters shine!
©Anupama Garg 2016, May